


Dear Diary

by Kai_Puppet, leoben



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Awkward Boners, Crack, Diary/Journal, Digital Art, Gen, Humor, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Snuggle fresh Oswald, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-12 09:10:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4473572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kai_Puppet/pseuds/Kai_Puppet, https://archiveofourown.org/users/leoben/pseuds/leoben
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a crackfest. Set between S1 and S2/during Season 2 of Gotham. This is written before Season 2 has aired.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Diary

**Author's Note:**

> We had way too much fun with this. Originally we were going to end every entry with "i got a boner" but that was just too much. Most of these entries are mine but you can also blame kai_puppet for a few.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a peek into Gabe's diary :)

Dear Diary,

I'm so proud of my boss! He's the king of Gotham now! :) :)

Maroni told me I was dumb for going with him but look at him now, lol he's dead

 

Dear Diary,

Today we moved into Falcone's old mansion! I get to see Boss every day for breakfast. It's like a dream :) :)

 

Dear Diary,

Victor invited that weird guy from the precinct over for muffins. Guy seemed a bit freaked out by Victor but who isn't? Then he started telling riddles. I've never heard Zsasz laugh before. Not sure I want to again.

 

Dear Diary,

Today Boss's hand brushed against mine. My stomach got butterflies in it.

 

Dear Diary,

Had my poker game yesterday but I lost all my money because I kept staring at Boss while he played piano. Butch laughed at me so I punched him.

Boss got mad.

 

Dear Diary,

Today Butch caught me (if you know what I mean) with a picture of Boss. It was awkward. Then he told me I have a problem. I think HE'S the one with the problem—the FISH problem. Like he's one to talk, ya know?

 

Dear Diary,

I think I've really fallen for Boss. Butch said I shouldn't get attached because I am just a silly goon.

Why does everything hurt so much right now, Diary?

 

Dear Diary,

Every time I look at the Boss I get all nervous. He's so cute. :(

 

Dear Diary,

BUTCH IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

[5 minutes later]

I'm so mad at him right now, he told the Boss I thought he was cute. Boss got all embarrassed. It was awful. Is he reading you, Diary?

 

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm Gabe I have a crush on my boss, he's SOOOO CUTE omg look at me I'm so big and strong I want to hold Oswald in my arms and kiss him allll overrrrr, you're the only one I can tell Diar_

 

Dear Diary,

Sorry to do this but I had to put a lock on you. I got back at Butch though, hope he likes a fresh Chicago sunroof.

 

Dear Diary,

Boss found out what I did and hit me with his umbrella.

 

 

Dear Diary,

Tonight, me, Butch, Oswald (I'm gonna call him by his first name, okay? It's just you and me), Victor, Ed, and Cat all watched a movie together. Oswald sat right next to me on the couch. I couldn't even concentrate on the movie (good thing there wasn't a quiz after!). It was such a good night!

 

Dear Diary,

I walked in on Oswald's mom giving him a sponge bath again. I don't think I'll ever get used to how weirdly close she is to the boss but man I wanted to be that sponge.

I got a boner.

 

Dear Diary,

Tonight Victor organized a slumber party. What the hell.

 

Dear Diary,

We played Truth or Dare.

Oswald sat in my lap and I got a boner. Stupid Jim.

 

Dear Diary,

I'm stoned now, Victor dared us all to smoke a joint, Oswald is lying in my lap, he's petting my pants, pants petting, soft pants, soft Oswald, soft hair

the only thing that's not soft is my boner

 

_dear gabe's diary_

_this whole party is weird, why am I here, Cobblepot's henchman passed out and I got his diary. This is disturbing and weird._

_-Jim_

 

Dear Diary,

I should stop leaving you out in the open, everyone and their mom has read it. Not literally though. Omg I hope not because that would mean Oswald and his mom have read it. She hasn't tried to kill me yet though so I think I'm safe.

 

Dear Diary,

OH MY God, we almost kissed tonight, Diary. We were driving around and Al Green was playing and before we got out of the car we looked at each other, and the moonlight was shining in and it was perfect but then Butch knocked on the window and RUINED THE WHOLE MOMENT.

 

_Dear Gabe,_

_You write like a 12-year old girl who has a crush on her teacher._

_P.S. Make me some fucking muffins or I'll show this to Cobblepot._

_\--V_

 

Dear EVERYONE,

STOP READING MY DIARY

 

_Dear Gabe,_

_Q: What's big and bad at hiding things?_

_A: You._

_-E.N._

 

_Dear Gabe,_

_Please pay no attention to the others. I respect your privacy and have never read your diary. So please, continue writing whatever you've been writing about. Which again, I have no idea about because I've never read your diary._

_P.S. Let's have movie night again sometime!_

_\--Oswald_

 

Dear Diary,

I'm done.

 


End file.
